Sha God

This has been my life for over a decade. In fact, this week marks 14 years since I was diagnosed with Bipolar II.   The years have not always been easy. I have not always been OK.    The doctors, though they tried, did not get my combination of medicines right the first, second, or even third try. The tears have been endless at times and then, sometimes, I could not cry at all. Finally, the doctors settled on four medications and they seemed to be the perfect remedy for many years. I was good. I was stable. I felt “normal” feelings at appropriate times.  Then, a month ago, I ended up in the ER with dangerously high blood pressure. Through some standard blood tests, the doctors found that one of my medications was at toxic levels. After a few weeks of trying to level out the medication, my bloodwork was still showing the same thing...toxic. This is when my doctor decided it was time to take me off this medication. I was terrified!    Would I spiral into a de...

  Hi friends! This week I will continue to share my story...my journey through mental health challenges.  Today I will be very vulnerable. I’ll be sharing things that I tend to hold close to my chest because of the stigma they hold.     Some people may look at me differently, but I can honestly say that doesn’t matter to me. I’m tired of hiding. I want to step out, be bold, and hopefully help others to do the same.  When I left off last week, my family and I had just moved back to Missouri after a really hard and lonely season in our lives. Like I mentioned, I was back on medication and things were good for awhile. We were happy to be back home, bought a house, got new jobs and Brandon started back to school at SBU.  By the first part of 2006, I was feeling great!    I was happy...overly happy I had a ton of energy, a mind full of spectacular ideas and no sense of the fact that I was slowly getting out of control. I will give one small exampl...

Hello and welcome (back) to Sha God.  Today’s post is the first of several on mental health and my journey through it all. I’ll be talking about some heavy and extremely personal things over the next few weeks. This is very timely, yet exceptionally difficult as I am in the midst of a season of depression and anxiety as I write these words.  For many years, I’ve felt compelled to write about my experience with mental health...BUT...fear, pride, insecurity. So why now?    I have no other reason except that I want to offer my life experience to point to Christ and help people along the way...even if it’s only one person. So here it goes: As a child, I was very extreme emotionally. I was either exceedingly happy or intensely sad, and it could change at the drop of a hat. The only thing that topped my moods was my severe anxiety. I was terrified of storms, specifically tornadoes, and would go into an emotional tailspin when a thunderstorm was predicted. My obsessive tend...